Convincing Harry
by abay
Summary: Magic of its purest can be the reason of many miraculous and extraordinary events, but when Harry finds that his father is back from the dead, he finds that hard to believe. Will they ever be able to convince him? A James comes back to life fic. Chapters
1. Utter and pure magic

**Disclaimer:**

**All Harry Potter series are the legal right granted to Mrs. Joanne Kathleen Rowling. I own nothing; I am simply borrowing**

**her story and plot and twisting it into one of my own for my own entertainment and others as well. No money is intended to **

**be made out of any of my fanfic/s.**

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**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-One-**

**Utter and Pure Magic

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**Enjoy:)**

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Cold heavy rain drenched him…though he did not feel it. Wind howled in his ear…though he did not hear it, and you may wonder how on earth he had not aroused by the chill and frostiness in the air which revolved around him, but this was basically because of these three simple reasons: That the dead did not feel. That the dead certainly did not hear, and that James Potter was definitely dead…But that was until life unexpectedly tingled through him. Now disbelief might be the first thought to occur to your mind, skepticism of how this had happened, but may I remind you that _magic,_ utter and pure magic can be the reason of many extraordinary and miraculous events.

…

Little by little, sensations swelled in him, his heart started to weakly beat against his chest in a slow rate, then slowly, after a while, it seemed to pick up speed and strength, as though it was being fed by an unseen force. Blood flowed swiftly through his veins now, his blue lips parted and took in a deep breath that filled his lungs with oxygen, and that was when he actually started to _feel_ once again

Cold waves ran up and down his body making him to involuntarily shudder. He made to curl into a tight ball so that he could warm himself, but found that he could not get his muscles to move. He felt oddly stiff, as though he had never used his limps before. _How strange._ Slowly, he moved his fingers… closing and opening them…closing and opening them, then he blearily opened his eyes.

A different darkness in which he was settled in before greeted him. This darkness was cold, sinister and menacing whereas the other was warm, welcoming and comforting…It had given him the feeling of being cradled and rocked into a soothing sleep…he wished he could go back there again, but the problem was, he didn't know how.

James raised his head, to get a better look of where he was, and found that he was covered in what felt to be mud. _What was he doing lying in it?_ And completely ignoring the fact that he did not have the slightest idea of how he had come to find himself in this place, James wiped the mud away from his face and looked around to find that darkness was still holding him within its folds.

_Where in the world was he?_

Rain drops fell hard upon him, pouring down his body, smoothing down his unruly jet black hair which usually stood up on its ends. He waited for a light to clear out a path to him, even for a sound, other than the rain, to reach him, but all was dark and silent around him.

Feeling that it was time to leave this sinister place, James gingerly got up and found that it was hard to keep his balance. Slowly, and very carefully he moved his right leg in front of the left, his arms spread out, flaying wildly, trying to find his center of gravity. He moved his left leg now, but slipped suddenly because of the slippery mud under his feet, and hit his head hard on what felt like to be a rock.

Umph!" "

Cursing quite colourfully and rubbing the back of his head vigorously where a bump seemed to be forming, James got on all fours ready to once again make another attempt at getting up when a flash of lightning illuminated the place, bringing the area around him into light, revealing to him something that rooted him on the spot.

_Impossible. _He blinked, and rubbed his eyes frantically, then smiled nervously to himself. _His eyes were playing tricks on him…that was all…._

And once again, the lightning flashed, raising the veil of darkness to expose to him what it had exposed to him mere moments before. He was kneeling in a graveyard…a graveyard that held the tombstone of his wife, Lily Potter

_Lily Potter_

_A loving wife and a hero who gave away her life to save her sons _

For the first time in his life, James wished that there was no light, he wished for the blissful darkness to engulf him once again. It was as though someone crushed his heart, it felt like somebody was twisting a knife in it. A choked cry of shock escaped him. _This could not be, _he though hysterically, _There had to be a rational explanation to this! Lily wasn't, she wasn't… She was perfectly fine! She was in Godrics' Hollow, probably worrying about him, and waiting by the door to scold him for nerve-racking him, with his son asleep in her arms._

But lightning flashed again, as if it was intentionally scoffing at him. It was mocking him. And the name of Lily Potter engraved on the Tombstone flashed repeatedly before his tearful hazel eyes.

"STOP IT!" he screamed, breathing heavily.

He knew that this was not true, he was sure that this was some sort of trick of Voldemort and his minions, he was positive that he would find Lily at Godrics' Hollow, and together, they would laugh about this later. No one could possibly find Lily because she and Harry were hidden under the Fidelus charm, and it was impossible for anyone to find them…unless Wormtail betrayed them, but he knew that even the notion of it would _never_ cross Peters' mind.

Getting up, James swayed dangerously, but managed to keep himself upright. Closing his eyes, he prepared himself to apparate into Godrics' Hollow, his home, where surely Lily and Harry were awaiting him on the soft couch by the fireplace.

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A.N--: Please review !


	2. A lie

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Two-**

**A Lie**

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_**Enjoy:)**_

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Right after the walls that were squeezing the air out of James released him, he fell to a heap on the cement floor, scraping his elbow on it. Apparating seemed to have drained what little energy he had left out of him, letting James feeling weak and frail, but determination was the only fuel left in him that kept him going; that and the adrenalin.

Panting heavily, James rolled onto his stomach, placed the palm of his hands firmly on the ground and with all his might, pushed himself off the ground, then slowly willing his feet to move too. Finally planted on both feet, though his legs barely supported him, James staggered on, walking towards the house he was looking at through his broken and fogged up glasses, and though the house was not very far, the distance between him and his home felt thousands and miles away.

As James took one reeling step after the other, the image of the house started to materialize into a clearer image…an image that was definitely not the house he remembered, but he nevertheless kept on going, denying the fact that this house didn't look in the slightest bit like his, and not until did he reach the port did James come to a halt.

His heart thumped wildly against his chest, his breathing became fast and difficult as confusion overcame him. He could not understand any of this…How could his home disappear so suddenly from the face of the earth? It was here hours ago … He could clearly remember himself sitting snugly inside of his house … sitting with Lily… taking softly… remembering sweet memories and sharing them to one another as Harry slept cradled in his arms … then … then …

He could not recall what had happened afterwards. For the life of him he could not. It was as though someone had obliviated the rest of his memories out of his mind and the more he tried to remember, the more the throbbing pain increased in his head.

Breathing in deeper breaths now, James tried to calm himself down, think rationally, but that was easier said than done. He could not figure out why this foreign house stood where his own should have been standing, but the only sensible conclusion he could come up with was that he had disapparated to the wrong location…He _was_ feeling fatigued after all.

Closing his eyes, James imagined his home clearly in his minds eye, focused on his destination, readying himself for the walls to bind him and close around him … but nothing happened…nothing at all. Furiously, James focused harder, muttering under his breath the same words under his breath. "_Godrics' Hollow, Godrics' Hollow, Godrics' Hollow…" _

Not a thing happened, not a scene of his surroundings had changed, and the house still stood stubbornly, glaring down upon as though gloating at his failure. Turning around, James searched for anyone to help him, point him towards the right direction, but the streets were deserted and uninhabited. He was all alone, lost in this forsaken place.

Deciding that all he could was send a message to a member of the Order of Phoenix was all he could momentarily, James hands, which were shivering uncontrollably, started to roam around in the inside pockets of his robes, searching for his wand so that he could summon up a Patronus, though he could not think of where he could conjure a happy memory at this moment, but the bigger problem was, he could not his find his wand anywhere.

"Oh god no…please no…"

Panic roared inside of him, waves of heat washed over him, and his heart was hammering against his chest with such force that it felt it would rip out his chest. Not only was he feeble and lost, but now he was defenseless and vulnerable too.

Feeling completely confused and helpless, James stared back at the old house, his stare unwavering, for he feared that if he batted an eye-lid, the house might turn up then diminish just for the sake of infuriating him, but no matter how much he stared, how much he silently begged it to with pleading eyes, his home never made a sudden emergence like he begged it to.

Now, his mind started to make up far-fetched notions, desperate ones…He was starting to make out the idea that his wife and son were in fact in _this very house_. The thought of how they had come to land in a house of somebody they were by no means acquainted to never even crossed his mind because that didn't matter. All that mattered was that they were here, safe, close by and alive. A shaky laugh escaped him as he reassured himself that his family was right here and that he was being too paranoid.

Stepping onto the porch, James walked towards the door, his legs still feeling wobbly beneath him and knocked on the door; waiting for answer….None came. Impatience swelled in him and he stared getting angry. _Why the hell weren't they answering him? _He now knocked more forcefully on the door and waited again … But again, no one came to answer the door. Feeling completely irritated at being ignored, James banged on the door louder, held the door knob firmly and started to shake the door, yelling, demanding for someone to open the door or he would rip it open himself.

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Margaret Collate, turning eighty-two in a few weeks had never slept so peacefully like she had for a long time, but that was until she was rudely disturbed by someone banging and yelling on her front door. _Did they expect an old lady like her to fly down the stairs? She could barely hobble for Christ's' sake! _

Casting an eye over to the clock, which by the way its digital numbers were extra large due to her bad sight, she saw that it was one o'clock in the morning.

"Oh gracious lord, who would be visiting me at such a time?" she asked her self as she donned on a flowered robe, put on her fluffy pink slippers and grabbed her wooden cane, tottering out of her room as fast as she could when the banging started to grow more violent.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" she called in her old weak voice as she stepped down the stairs one by one, making sure not slip and fall.

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Well now," she muttered to herself as she stepped down the last steps, and walked toward the door. "I said I was coming, there's no need for them to be so bad-mannered!

"_Please _let me in…_please!_" Whoever it was outside started begging in such a sad voice that Margaret urged herself to hobble faster towards the door though her doctor had reminded her so many times that she shouldn't tier herself.

"I'll be there in a moment dear!"

When Margaret reached the door, she left the security chain just in-case --_Oh she'd heard about those naughty boys with their guns, stealing from all those poor people! _– and opened the door a few inches, squinting so the better she could see whoever it was.

"I'm sorry dear," she said pleasantly forgetting how rudely the person had banged at her door and yelled. "But I'm not wearing my glasses and I can't tell who you are."

"Lily," the person, a man from the sounds of it, who had apparently hadn't heard what she'd said. "Harry…Where are they?"

"Who'd you say dear? I'm afraid my hearing isn't that well too—"

"My wife and son, I know they're here. I want to see them," the man said, his voice oddly strangled as though he had the flu.

"Oh no, no one's visited me today," Margaret said shaking her head, and then added thinking that it would be polite. "They're welcome anytime for a cup of tea though. I could introduce them to my daughter, Sophie, you know she's quite the dear and she's got a daughter of her own too—"

"But they have to be here," the man said pleadingly. "Please let me in I know they're here—"

"But I'm in my night gown!" she whispered embarrassedly. "I can't let you in! Why don't your family come by tomorrow for a cup of tea and we'll all get acquainted with each—"

"But I was here with them just a few hours ago!" the man croaked desperately and so sadly making her heart ache. "And now I-I've…I don't—I don't know where they are."

"Oh are you lost dear?" Margaret asked sympathetically. "Tell me who you're looking for and we'll phone the poli—"

"Lily and Harry Potter," the man said in a very hoarse voice as though he had cried until his throat had gone raw. "I can't—I don't know—"

"The Potter's did you say?" she asked slightly surprised.

"Y-Yes."

Now Margaret was a old lady whose mind did not sustain very much memory as it used to due to her old age, but their was this one memory of a story told to her by the man who had sold her this very house that she had never forgotten, and it was a very heartbreaking story at that. It was about the father that died protecting his family, the mother who had died for her son, and the son whom they never knew his fate. Margaret felt such honor towards the courage of both the father and the mother that she had made it her duty to pass on their story to as much people as she could.

"Why don't you know dear?" she asked perplexed. "The Potter's died fifteen years ago."

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"Why don't you know dear?" the old irritating lady asked. "The Potter's died fifteen years ago."

That word; that horrendous, unbearable word. Died. James did not want to hear it, he did not want to believe, because it was not true…how could it be true? In utter denial, James looked at the lady between the open gap of the door and laughed shakily. "Impossible…They aren't … they can't be…"

"Oh it was such a sad story," the mad old bat continued as though she did not hear him. "They were killed right in this—"

"_No…" _he whispered quietly, shaking his head in rejection.

"—house. They couldn't find the murderer or the sons' body—"

"Liar!" he hissed vehemently at the old lady. "They're not dead!"

"Well how rude of you—"

James turned around, walking away from the lady as fast as he could. _She was lying, _he repeated to himself over and over again. _She was lying. _But the words she had uttered were like daggers cutting through him, shredding him into pieces, and he could not fight it; no matter what, he could not escape its wrath.

Pained gasps escaped him as he ran further and further away, but he could not go on, his feet were crumbling beneath him, and he found himself crawling, trying to get away from that old lady and her wretched lies. Shivering all over, he lied in defeat on the ground, letting the rain which had started to fall again wash over him.

"Lily…" he whispered with difficulty as he felt his lungs constrict. "Harry…please…. _Please_ come back…please don't leave me…you can't leave me…please…"

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A.N: Please, please Review and tell me what you think! 


	3. Logic

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Three-**

**Logic

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Enjoy:)

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Sitting huddled in a corner sat a man, shivering uncontrollably, his blue lips mumbling the same incoherent words. "Can't be…Impossible…Please Lily, Harry, please…don't leave me alone. Oh god, please don't leave me alone." His blood shot eyes were wide and teary, darting this way and that, as though expecting his wife and son to emerge out of the corner, walk towards him and pull him by his hands and take him away from this place he found himself prisoner in.

The dark murky sky started to turn into a blood red one, reflecting the feeling of odd death inside of him. Looking up into the sky, James realized how much time he had wasted sitting here, wallowing in his self-pity. But what could he do? He was stranded in no where, scarcely able to move, feeling scared and tired. He could not turn to Sirius or Peter for help, they were in hiding, where he did not know, risking their necks to save little Harry like the loyal friends they are…_But there's still Remus, _a voice reminded.

But he could not, Remus was their suspect, the one whom Sirius and Peter warned him might be the spy. _He's a werewolf James, _Sirius had told him gravely. _Although I hate to admit it, Remus might have…you know…joined Greyback. We haven't seen him for a while now… who knows if those speeches Greyback's been giving turned his head around? We've got to be careful…for little Harry's sake…_

But James however found himself not regarding this point Sirius had pointed out to him at all. _Remus would know what to do_, he told himself. _He always did. _

Close his eyes tightly, James summoned up all energy he could find in him, breathed in deeply, then thought of his destination. He imagined Remus' cottage in his minds eye, and then, he felt the familiar walls close around him, binding him. He could not breathe…a dull buzz was imitating in his ears…his eardrums would surly burst—he needed air! He needed to get out of this---_Pop! _

James had to use the wall to support himself and keep him from falling. Opening his eyes and breathing deep, shuddering breaths, James looked around for any sight of Remus, and although the cottage looked slightly different before, James did not notice for there was only one thought lingering in his mind.

"Remus!" he called as his heart beat fast against his ribcage. "Remus!"

"REMUS!"

Mumbling unintelligibly, Remus Lupin rolled over on his bed, tangling himself within his shabby blankets and covering his head with them. He had of course heard someone yell for him, it was probably Sirius, but he chose to ignore it and finish off his dream of running with under the moon with both stag and dog.

From the very day he was bitten by Greyback, Remus had started to have these dreams of a werewolf, more of a cub really at his age of youth every time the full moon would draw nearer. The cub-wolf would be howling at the moon, alone and lonely, but the wolf remained alone no more when Remus had met Peter, Sirius and James. As they accompanied him in his transformations, they convoyed him in his dreams as well. Wolf, dog, stag and rat ran under the moon in a pack that was unbreakable…or so they thought.

Years later, his packs oath to remain together had been severed…One had died…The other served wasted years in Azkaban though innocent of charge, and the other…The other had betrayed them…scuttled away into hiding…fearing for his own life…unaware of the many lives ruined for the sake of his own, and once again, Remus and the wolf found themselves in solitude and seclusion, shunned from the world for what he was, for the mark engraved on his left shoulder. The werewolf mark.

And another twelve lonely years later, Remus had found that a bear-like shaggy dog would be accompanying him in those dreams, barking and howling with him at the moon. Remus marveled on why he was having these dreams and came up with the delusion that the news of Sirius Black escaping Azkaban had weaved into his dreams as well as his waking moments. But Remus new that there was more to it…and in the end, he was proven that his gut feeling had proven right.

And tonight, Remus was having the same usual dream of the Wolf and dog running under the moon, but this time…a stag was accompanying them, trampling across the grass with speed and agility, raising his antlers and standing at his rear legs.

"REMUS!"

Snorting out of his sleep, Remus opened an eye blearily then the other, finding it hard to adjust to the light seeping through the window, but another pleading scream reached his ears, shocking the hell out of Remus and sending him fling out of bed, for he had thought he would never hear this voice until his dieing day. _That… that was … _

Shaking his head at the absurd thoughts he was thinking, Remus donned on a threadbare and patched robe, snatched his wand from his bedside table and readied himself to attack if it was needed to, the wolf however was not in a stance of defense. Oddly, he was not feeling protective at all that someone had barged into his property, it was a usual wolf intuition, but instead Moony was howling with joy, and Remus could only remember him howling this ecstatically twice in his entire life. The former was the first time stag, rat and dog had joined on his full moon adventures, and the following was the day Sirius had rejoined him forming a pack of two.

_But that was ridiculous! It couldn't be him! It just couldn't be …_

"REMUS! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!" cried the voice in despair, the voice that reminded him so much of…._But he's dead! _He told himself coldheartedly.

Breaking free of his bed sheets which were twisted around his feet, Remus stumbled out of the room clumsily, and ran down the hallway, finding himself face to face with someone whom he thought he would never see for the rest of his life, someone who had long passed to the other world.

"Good god."

Uncharacteristically like him, Remus' mind had gone void of all thoughts as he stared wide eyed at the man before him, he did not even notice the man walk towards him and shake him by the shoulders, hollering at him, screaming himself hoarse, screaming in anguish.

"Remus, they're here aren't they? L-Lily, and Harry, they're not dead Remus, they- they just can't be! Tell me they're her with you, please Remus, _please!"_

"_J-James?"_ he said in a barley audible voice.

His mind would not think straightit would not comprehend what it was seeing. For this was far more than a nightmare, this was a dream come true, this was a dream that he thought was unfeasible, but he did not simply presume that, he knew for a fact that this was impossible. It was a verity. The dead were dead; they did not simply choose to walk around whenever they wished to do so.

But Moony was telling him that this was really James, that no other had that scent, but the Remus in him…he was telling him that James had departed to the other life, and that nothing could bring him back, that reincarnation was nothing but a mere myth, a fairy tale made up by people who had lost loved ones, living on false hope that somehow, it would bring them back.

"Remus, I-I don't- Lily, Harry, where are they?"

_Flashback_

_On no account in his life had Remus felt so lost, so hopeless, and not matter how hard the situation he was in did he ever wish for his life to end. Not once did that thought cross his mind. Save for this tonight. _

_But in a sense, his life had really come to an end. On the horrendous night of October 31, 1981 his life had come crashing down upon him because of the actions of Sirius Black, a low deceiving coward who had fooled them all; Sirius used to be a person whom he had regarded as a brother, a branch of him though they were not related by blood, but not anymore…_

_Remus looked down at the once beautiful, full of life woman, and a gleaming white tear trickled down his cheek. She was not full of life any longer. Bending down, he kissed Lily on the cheek and bid her farewell…the hardest thing he had ever done in his life…_

_Then he turned to the man lying beside her. That man, he was part of him, he was among one of his friends who had helped him be who the man he is today, and as he looked upon James face, a choked laugh escaped his lips as he remembered the mayhem they had caused together, as he recalled the nights in which the marauders, care free as they could ever be- planned the next adventure knowing that they would live to see the next day…_

…_But James would never be able to relive those moments with him, he would never be able to create more memories with him, because James was gone, his brother was gone, and as he slowly realized that, his heart broke into pieces…pieces that would never be able to be put back together. _

_Wiping his tear stained face, Remus got up and took a step towards the door…a step that would take him further away from his friends more than ever before, because if he walked out of that door, he would never see James and Lily once more, this, he realized, would be his last moment with them…a dead memory, a memory of pains and a recollection that gave him nothing but a heart of lead. _

_But he did not want this memory…he wanted it to fade away…he wanted to forget James….Lily….Peter, he even wanted to forget his hatred towards Sirius. He wished that his memory of them would seize to exist, but Remus knew otherwise…he knew that they would always be engraved in his heart… for their sake…for Harry, a child's' sake, for he was the only remembrance of them, and if he had to be the one to suffer for Harry then be as it may be. Harry was the only thing left for him, and he had given his word to James that he would take care of Harry despite the fact that he knew a werewolf was never granted that right. He would do the impossible to get custody of Harry; he would do what was in the best interest of the child._

_Stepping out of the door, he turned around and cast a look at Lily and James for the last time. Inside his very core, he felt his emotions tremble at its peek as his eyes lay once again on them, and he sobbed for what was taken away from him…he sobbed for Lily, for James, for Peter, and even for Sirius that was seduced by the dark side._

_He sobbed for all it's worth._

_End Flashback._

Suddenly snapping back to his senses he snarled, "Who are you?"

Remus pushed the imposter away from him with disgust, his face contorting into one of great anger. The imposter, whoever it was, standing in his hallway didn't seem to notice his extreme hostility, but continued in his deceitful act. _Who would sink so low to try to deceive a man? _he thought furiously as he felt his heart beating at an un-normal rate, but he had no doubt in mind at who would do such a coldhearted act; Voldemort. And if he thought that Remus was daft enough to believe this fowl charade then he had under estimated him greatly.

"Lily? Harry? I-I can't find them, oh god, please Remus_, please _tell me they're with you," he pleaded, his body shaking uncontrollably with coldness though he did not seem to realize it, and oddly Remus found that his heart was softening at the person in front of him.

He looked so helpless, so lost, and Moony was howling more than ever, ready to charge at '_James_,' with a rib-cracking hug, but logic held him back. The dead remain dead, their bodies decomposed into ashes, and there was no way for them to return, unless they'd evolved into ghosts, and whoever was posing as his long lost friend was not in the slightest bit transparent. No, he was definitely solid.

"_Who-are-you!" _he repeated grinding his teeth with resentment as once again the battle of anger overcame pity.

"Remus, it's me, James-"

"_James is dead_!" he hissed horrendously, grabbing the poser of James by the front of his robes and slamming him hard onto the wall, pinning the imposter so that he could scarcely move.

"Moony-"

"SHUT UP!" Hearing the figure of James calling him by his childhood nickname had hit Remus hard more than he thought it would have, causing him to explode as he felt the temper of the wolf rise, as he felt the power of him bubble beneath his skin, and the next thing he knew, Remus had sent a punch full of resentment at the imposter, then left him to stumble onto the ground crying out in pain and surprise.

"Did your master really think he could fool me this easily?" he scoffed standing over the imposter keeping him at wand point. "But tell me, how _did _you get yourself to look so very much like James without any of his hair strands, or any part of him in fact?"

"I don't know what you mean," denied the imposter whipping blood away from his cut lip by the back of his hand, but Remus ignored the comment, and continued on.

"But you know what fascinates me? How did you get to smell so like him? Peter must have told you that I'm a werewolf—"

"Remus! I don't have time for this! Harry and Li-"

It was common knowledge that werewolves were overprotective of things they held dear, and when the mere mention of Harrys' name left the imposters lips, it sent Remus into another sudden storm of rage. "If you dare touch a hair on Harrys' head, _one hair, _I swear _I will hunt you down myself_!" he threatened loosing his mocking tone.

"I would never hurt Harry! I'm his father!"

Remus was loosing his patience with the fraud; he was finding it hard not to curse the hell out of this liar standing dangerously beneath his wand.

"HOW DARE-" but before he could even finish his sentence, the imposter got up with such a speed and jumped at him pinning him to the ground, sending his wand flying elsewhere, but Remus quickly pushed him off with another hard punch in the face.

Werewolves were powerful creatures, and when they got mad, you wouldn't want to mess with them.

James head painfully collided into the wall, but quickly scrambled to his feet. For some reason Remus thought that he, James, was not who he was claiming to be, but he had no precious time to spare! Lily and Harry were missing and he had to find them. He had no time to brawl with Remus. But when James saw him bending over to pick his wand up, he ran into him, ramming Remus as hard as he could with his shoulder.

And the affray started.

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A.N:A minute worth of your time wouldmake me a _really _happy girl!;) So please, hit that review button and tell me what you think!


	4. A Dawn

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Four-**

**A Dawn**

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**Enjoy ! ;) **

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Having werewolf blood in him, Remus was way stronger than James, way too strong, but nevertheless he sent every punch and kick at Remus he could, but his old friend whom he seeked helped from had an advantage over him. James was feeling light headed from the blows he had received on his head and for some reason, his movements today were not as coordinated as they used to be. There was no way he would win over Remus.

With a roar of fury, Remus sent him into the wall pinning him by the collar of his robes with ferocity he never knew resided in him.

"OFFF!" Panting heavily, he struggled to break free of Remus's sturdy grip, which was slowly stopping the oxygen from flowing into his lungs. His hands clawed at Remus', trying to find release, but Remus did not head to the pain, and slowly, his hands started to loose their energy, all he could focus on was air. _Air! He needed air! _His eyes started watering, bulging out of their sockets, black spots formed danced in his sight, he started to feel lightheaded and his head started lolling to the side. He was going to black out! _Air! He needed_ –

Air suddenly rushed through his lungs as Remus lessened his grip around his throat, sweet, heavenly air, and he gulped madly for it, slowly recovering.

"Now tell me," snarled Remus who was too out of breath. "Why didn't your filthy master come here himself?"

He did not know why Remus attacking him, or why he was accusing him with preposterous accusations, and nor did he know why he was acting this way towards him, but there was one thing James was sure of: That this was not the Remus he knew. Remus would never do this to him. He must have really been seduced by the dark side…he must have joined the Dark Order.

James stared hard at him and spoke with fury and pain in his voice. "I…I should have… believed Peter and…Sirius," he said panting. "I should have known… I should've known that…that you were the spy! It was you who leaked information--"

Remus laughed drowning the rest of his words though there was no amusement in his laughter. "Me? A spy? Never; Peter was the one-"

"Peter would never betray me!" roared James defending the honor of his friend.

Remus laughed with apathy once again. "Both you and I know that Peter was the one who betrayed Lily and James, he was the one that gave them willingly to Voldemort, and you know what happened to them. They died. They died so there's no way you'll make me believe that James is back from the dead, so why don't you give up this fake pretense of yours."

_What did Remus mean? What did he mean that Peter betrayed them? Peter would never do such a thing! And what was this about Lily and he being dead? He was standing right here, right in front of Remus!_

"No," he whispered horror filling him. "You're lying. There're not dead Remus, they can't be!"

"I've had enough of you," Remus spat pulling out his wand from within his robes.

"Remus no!" James yelled horrified. Remus couldn't kill him! Not now! Not when Lily and Harry needed him most, and if he had to beg him for mercy then so be it, for Lily and Harry, he would do anything. If he could give them the world, then he would have. "Let go of me Remus, let me go! Lily and Harry are missing, you don't understand!"

But Remus raised his wand paying him no heed...

Out of impulse, James transformed into a stag, which felt like an oddly foreign feeling, and raised Remus with his antlers throwing him to the ground viciously. Remus fell down to the ground with full force right on his head, and he tried to get up, to fight back, but judging by the way he screwed his eyes, Remus' head was spinning with the impact of the fall.

Swiftly, James deformed back into his human form and snatched Remus's wand which had fallen right beside Remus. Although his old friend could have beaten him to the wand- as it was right beside him- he didn't make to get the wand like James expected him to, but instead of attacking James when Remus got back the opportunity, he stared at him, with complete disbelief in his amber eyes that were locked with his own, and James saw something spark in them…a spark that he always used to see in Remus's eyes...the Remus he remembered.

All emotions despite disbelief seemed to wash out of Remus as he saw the stag transformed before his very eyes, and he waited for what felt like time without end to wake up, he would surely wake up to find that this was nothing but a mere dream…but his waking moment never came.

No one could ever replicate an animagus form, no matter how powerful the wizard was. They couldn't; so what did this mean? Why was that imposter able to transform into James stag form? Did this mean that James was indeed alive?

_But how_? He asked himself confused. _How is this possible?_ Was James never dead? Was he, in fact, alive all these year? ..But why would he suddenly show up? Why would he hide all these years? Or had he been captured by a Death Eater?

_No! _cried another distant voice in the back of his head. _This is nonsense!_

He saw James dead body, he saw it. He could clearly remember the night he shook James to wake up. He could recall the days that he woke up in denial, telling himself that it was a nightmare…but their missing presence proved him wrong, the vacant hole in his heart proved him wrong.

_James was dead. He knew it, he was sure of it. _

But there were certain facts he could not steer clear of; explicit details that he could not shun…and he did not doubt the sources of these facts, he did not distrust Moony, he had no uncertainty towards his wits, for no human or creature had senses as strong as a werewolf's', and that was why they are not easily fooled. Most identified them as dark creatures that fed on human flesh, but in Remus's eyes, they were sharp creatures that could not be easily deceived.

He had at first thought that Voldemort had sot a way to fool his senses, hoodwink them. Voldemort was not a person to be taken lightly, he was not a person to pay no mind to, for he was- and still is- the darkest wizard that ever walked the skirts of this earth. He had a great- yet malevolent and sinister mind that would come up with the most devious plans which were beyond any ones realm of imagination; Remus had put that fully in mind as soon as he saw 'James'.

Voldemort knew that he was a part of The Order of the Phoenix, he knew that Remus had fought alongside with the light side in this war. He knew that in a way, Remus was part of the strong wall that held them together, and Voldemort was not oblivious to the fact that James meant a great deal to him and to many more. It was true. But Remus had put in mind that Voldemort would do anything to have a spy within his ranks, and what better way to do that than fool people into believing that a man they cherished so much was back after such a long parting? What better way was there than send someone who would be welcomed with open arms into the Order of Phoenix? What other person, than Harrys' father, would be the best way to lure Voldemorts' conqueror?

And that was the reason that he, Remus, was not blinded with the so called figure of the man called James in front of him. But what had hit him hard in the heart, and steered him to the other possibility was when he saw Prongs. All the evidence thus far had pointed out that this was James…his smell…his looks…his stag form. But there was one thing that out-weighed all of that, and it was the fact that James was dead.

_It did not make sense! _

His head was spinning with queries, Remus could not make head or tail of this situation he was in, but Moony however was howling the answers to him, and that was when he finally accepted it.

_There was no question to it, this was James; this was really James! How he did not know, but James was alive!_

"Good god, J-James? …Is that really you?" he stuttered disbelievingly.

James lowered the wand when he saw Remus's face dawning into belief, and held out a hand to pull him to his feet, and almost in a dream like state, Remus took his hand. It was ironic how Remus wished for James to be here with him, how he wished to talk to him, but now…now he remained silent staring at his long lost friend, completely lost for words.

None of this made sense, none of it. It didn't make sense that James was with him here when he held him dead in arms; it didn't make sense for him to be alive, but he nevertheless found himself pulling James into an embrace as tears of joy formed in his eyes.

_James was here, he was alive._

For James Potter, this night was the longest night he had ever lived through. He felt sick to his stomach with worry. His brain was confused beyond measure, and he was starting to feel a dull ache in his heart, as though a hole had been ripped open it, and James had the feeling that this wound of his was widening even further. He could not understand why he was feeling this way, but what James didn't know was that there was indeed a part of him missing, but he shunned the notion of it…He would not believe it…He refused to…and only by repeating to himself that Lily and Harry were absolutely fine did he find comfort and reassurance. And yet it was not comfort nor reassurance he had found…It was denial, because if truth be told…James didn't know that they were alright…he just assumed it…and he had to know….once and for all…he had to know…even if his family really was….

James screwed his eyes at that very thought and he forced himself to try and remember where he had last seen Lily and Harry. It was the right place to start, and from there, he could gather some clues and start his search, but then, as he dug through his brain for the last moment he had been with his family, something flashed before his eyes…something that happened hours ago…despite the fact that it felt like years of time had come to pass since that incident…that incident that left nothing of his life that he had come to passionately love.

**Flash**

_**"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"**_

**_Lilys' emerald eyes widened and glinted with horror as grabbed the baby held in his arms running to the stairs._**

**Flash**

_**The door burst open sending the door of its hinges and he could hear a high-pitched, cold-blooded, laughter.**_

_**"James!" shrieked Lily turning back to him.**_

_**"LILY! GO!"**_

**Flash**

_**And before he could even pull out his wand Voldemort pulled his own wand ruthlessly and pointed it right at the bundle of robes in Lilys' arms. **_

_**His red eyes flashed with a sickening glee.**_

_**"AVADA KEDAVRA!"**_

**Flash**

_**His mind stopped thinking as Voldemort articulated those words, and without even realizing what he was doing, he jumped right in front of his wife and son shielding them from the curse.**_

_**"JAMES!" screeched Lily. **_

"NOOOO!" he screamed gripping onto Remus as he recollected that fatal night, the night that Voldemort barged into his home, a home of elation and bliss…

_It couldn't be…It couldn't be…_

"Remus…tell me they got away…tell me…" James whispered in complete rejection, but when a stony silence was his only reply he pulled Remus back, holding him by the shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. "_Remus_, they're here aren't they? They got away from Voldemort didn't they?"

Silence…

"Then Sirius took them right? Sirius hid Lily and Harry away didn't he Remus? DIDN'T HE!" he screamed.

Remus' amber eyes shun over-bright and screwed up his eyes, turning away from James, looking anywhere but at him. How was he supposed to tell James that the love of his life was gone? He did not have the heart to do it…he couldn't.

"ANSWER ME FOR GODS SAKE REMUS! ANSWER ME!" James yelled raucously, shaking his shoulders, his hazel eyes trying to lock with Remus' so that he could find an answer within them.

"Lily…she…she's gone James…she's…"

It felt like a rock was being wedged in his throat stopping him from inhaling, and James suddenly didn't want to know the answer, he did not want the truth, yet deep down, he knew the answers to his question of where Lily and Harry where, but he did not want to believe it, he wanted to live in an illusion his own mind had set up.

"LILY!" he yelled turning around as though she would pop out grinning, with those breath taking emerald eyes. "LILY!"

"LILY! HARRY!" he cried now pushing door after door. A yearn inside of him, a no greater desire, no greater wish, that Lily and Harry would be behind one of these doors.

Fleeting images rushed before his eyes of Harrys' mystical, full of life, laughter and giggles as Lily tickled him with her own laughter filling the room, and his need, his _craving_ to find them extended, if possible, even further than ever before.

"James…" he heard Remus call pleadingly from behind him.

"LILY! HARRY!" he screamed croakily, now running out onto the porch.

He called out into the night for them, he screamed for it to enlighten a path for him, but the nights mournful howl tore the tears out of his eyes and he bellowed at it in frustration.

"TELL ME! WHERE ARE THEY! TELL ME!"

"James stop!"

"God, please, please," he prayed heading towards the forest but a hand grabbed onto his robes stopping him. "Let go of me Remus!"

"No!"

"Let go I have to find my son! I have to find my wife!"

"No James! It's too dangerous for you to be out there-"

"I DON'T BLOODY CARE! I WANT MY WIFE AND SON!"

James wiped the tears away from his face, and pulled himself together not even listening to Remus. _If he wanted to find Lily and Harry, he had to think straight, he couldn't break into pieces!_ _He must not panic. He must not loose control._

Taking in a deep breath, James thought of a way, any way to prove Remus and the old lady wrong. To prove that Lily and Harry where well and alive, and then, it struck him.

He should have thought of it before! Dumbledore had created this charm for James if he ever was in a hopeless situation like this; he was not to employ it unless there was no other way, unless there was no other alternative to choose, it was too treacherous… too deceitful.

Yes, the charm that he was about to perform was able to swindle them. It was dark…and anything dark had the ability to betray…had the capability to…_leak. _It could be called an…insider if you wish, a way were the charm could weave its' way into Voldemorts' grasps, and then give him free reign to breach the charm, but right now he had no other choice, there was no other option, and this, with no doubt, was a hopeless situation alright.

Pulling out Remus's wand, he twirled it in the air and muttered the incantation. "_Divulganous Campernus!"_

A spark of light flickered then reappeared in thin air, slowly, it curved into a web of lines, forming an oval ball of blinding light. James shielded his eyes, and waited for the light to twist into an image. It would show him where Lily was, and Harry was surely with her.

…

But the image he saw was not the one he sought after, it was not the one he pictured of Lily and Harry laughing in his head.

He shut his eyes, screening them from the image above him, the image that seemed to be a closure to his life. The reflection of the graveyard now smiled malevolently down upon him, showing him clearly the tombstone of Lily.

"Oh god no…Dead?" he said inaudibly, his hazel eyes wide, full of hurt and anguish, staring down at his hands. "Dead?"

And then, no matter how many times it was said to him tonight, the words finally sank in. James suddenly could no longer feel his legs, it felt as though the ground was shaking with fury under him, raged at the revelation that had been disclosed before his very eyes, and he let out yet another fraught, pleading yell.

"My wife! My son, my boy! Please god no..._Please_…" But no one could hear his anguished cries…no one could feel a hole being burnt into his heart…

James sank to the ground, falling onto his knees, and what life and hope he had left sank along with him. His heart did not shatter any further…There was nothing left of it to shatter…He was not conscious of the trembling of his body, of the tears he was shedding, he had no awareness of what was around him anymore…

_What was there, waiting for him in his life, when his wife and son were gone? _

But the tears continued to streak his face…an endless flow of his love and affection for what he had lost, that- no matter what- he would not seize to feel. For his love for his wife and son had no extent to it, except he now wished for himself not to love them anymore, if his love to them was this agonizing then he did not want. But it would not leave him! It would not let him rest in peace, and he knew that it would haunt him 'till the day of his death.

Completely collapsing with grief like he had never felt before, James fell face forward into the ground, soaking himself with wet mud. "My Lily, my wife…Harry…my boy…my son…'' It was like someone was strangling him, squeezing his heart out, the blood would not flow to his head…he would not think coherently…

The wind howled in his ears deploring…the leaves shriveled and what green was left in them drained…and the sky shed its own tears upon James as though they too shared his pains.

"My son, my boy, my Lily; No…no, can't be…can't be…impossible. Peter, how could you? Why Peter?" he muttered disjointedly to himself.

He didn't even feel Remus drag him into the house, half carrying and pulling him like rag doll.

"You-you lied to me Sirius…"

He didn't feel Remus seat him on the couch, he didn't hear his friend telling him to stay put, that he would be back in a moment, he didn't even see Remus charm the house with enchantments.

"Why Peter? Sirius? ... I trusted you both…I put Lily and Harry in your hands…"

And James sat there, rocking himself with grief, still calling for Lily and Harry as pain after pain seared through him and he kept screaming hoarsely, clutching his heart, trying to hold onto what was left of Lily and Harry in it.

"Please don't leave me. Please Lily, Harry, you can't go…You can't die. You can't leave me…"

* * *

A.N: Aah, things are getting complicated. Please review! 


	5. A memory of agony

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Five-**

**A memory of agony**

* * *

**Enjoy! ;) **

* * *

Sirius was raising as much wards around Grimmauld Place as he could for today; he had already counseled the quarters from any muggle or wizard eyes and elevated the alarms around the house so that if any intruder was to burst in here it would immediately would be triggered. Sirius already lost count of how many defenses he put on the house, but he had to do all he could to fight the Dark Order, it was the only thing he could do now…

_Pop!_

Grabbing his wand from within his robes spontaneously, Sirius spun around to find himself face to face with a dishelved Remus. Letting a sigh of relief, Sirius greeted his friend, happy to have company.

"I'm glad you're--"

"Sirius, there's something I want to show you," Remus said hurriedly. "Quick back to my place!"

"Can't this wait," Sirius asked slightly confused at Remus' behavior. "I'm almost done with my work here."

"No!" said Remus sharply, and at seeing his eyes resolute as he had ever seen them, Sirius instantaneously knew that there was something wrong, he could tell by the uneasiness in his old friend, whom he could read like an open book.

"Alright," Sirius said nodding his head and apparating to The Gore to find the place in a complete mess and disorder. "What is it? What's happened here?" he asked Remus as he popped by him.

"Wait here," was all that Remus said, heading toward the living room door and peaking behind it.

As soon as Remus opened the door, Sirius heard incoherent muttering and from a very upset person from the sound of it…The voice was familiar to Sirius, though he could not place his finger on it.

"Who's in there?" he asked curiously, trying to get a glimpse of the person, but Remus had shut the door instantly.

"You're not going to believe me," he said croakily, running a hand through his sandy-brown hair, and shutting his eyes, he leaned his head against the wall, as though the whole world was upon his shoulders.

"Try me Remus," he said edging closer towards Remus, practically feeling the curiosity bubbling in his insides though he did not why or _what _would make him so excited.

"It's…" his old friend hesitated for a second then gulped and plunged on. "It's James…"

Blinking, and looking as though someone had struck him hard in the face, Sirius looked at the man standing in front of him as though he had seen him for the first time in his life.

"_What!"_

"I know, I know, that's not possible, I too thought it was some sort of plan of Voldemorts'," Remus said now pacing as he ran another shaking hand through his brown hair. "But Sirius, he _smells _like Prongs, and you know how strong a werewolf's' sent is, and I saw him transform Sirius, I _saw _him transform with my own eyes! You know that no can duplicate an animagus form, you know they can't."

"Remus…" he said looking at his friend with sorrow and pity.

_He did not know how they had fooled Remus; he did not know what had come upon him to think that James was back. Remus always thought with logic, and with prudence. The man was known to have a head that forethought every situation. Had it all become too much for Remus? Had he felt so sick of this war that he finally snapped?_

But nevertheless, Sirius would not let him live on false hope, he would not let Remus's heart swell with happiness, because he knew that when the truth would approach Remus, he would be heart broken, and Sirius would not let that happen

"James is dead," he said tonelessly, though emotions rumbled inside the pit of his stomach. "He's dead Remus."

"No!" said Remus spinning around to face him. "It _is _him!"

"Look Remus, Merlin knows I want him back too -" but he did not get to finish his reasoning as Remus had cut him off impatiently, which was not a trait that Remus was known for. No, Moony was the impatient side of him, Moony was the rash part of him, and he could see that the werewolf was taking over.

"Think about it Sirius let's say that it _is _a Death Eater impersonating him, how would they get the ingredients for the Polyjuice Potion? If James was really dead then no part of him should exist-"

"There are other ways to take the form of another!" Sirius countered back.

"But how would they transform into James stag form! Can you find a contradiction to that Sirius?" Remus said counteracting him in a heart beat.

Sirius shook his head slowly in denial. Although he wished it was true, although he had begged night and day in his cell at Azkaban that his friend was among the living once more, he knew it would never happen, _never. _And what made him so sure, so certain, that James was dead, was the day his eyes lay upon his dead friend. And Sirius could never erase that day from his memory, no matter how much he had tried to evade it. He couldn't. It haunted him night and day, taunting him, reminding him, how he failed in saving James and Lily.

_Flashback_

_"Come on! Come on!" Sirius Black urged his motorbike to move faster as his heart beat rapidly beneath his ribs. Although the night air he flew in was cool and breezy, Sirius was sweating and he was feeling hot with anticipation. _

_Under his breath, Sirius cursed the Ministry for the law they had passed. It would have made it a lot easier to reach Godrics' Hollow if it were not for the document that prohibited the use of apparition. It was easier for the Aurors' to capture Death Eaters if they didn't pop away as soon as they arrived. But Sirius, who was known to be a rule breaker, could have easily disregarded those rules if it were not for the wards put around the area, obstructing anyone from apparating there. And Sirius could not run from the apparition spot to Godrics' Hollow. It would take too long. No, his means of traveling was much faster, and more sufficient, but to Sirius, this ride on his motorbike felt like it would never end. _

…

_Spotting Lily and James's house, Sirius descended on his motorbike, going down dangerously fast, but he did not care. Lily, Harry, and James lives were at stake. _

_Landing with a thump on the ground, Sirius jumped off of his bike, not even bothering to pick it up when it fell to the side. He ran, ran as fast as his long legs could take him, his only aim to get his friends and his godson safely out of that house. He would kill the little traitor later. But as he moved closer and closer to the house, he slowed down unconsciously, his eyes never averting what little was left of that house._

_Everything around him seemed to be distant, and faraway…Everything surrounding him appeared to be slothful…the swaying of the trees…the drops of rain falling to the ground…even the howl of the wind in his ears seemed to be slower… _

_How long he stood their staring at the house he did not know…how long he disbelievingly fixed his eyes on it, waiting for anyone to come out of was a complete mystery to him, but only when the lightning struck did he seem to arouse from his incredible stare. And suddenly, everything seemed to be more hateful around him, more vicious…more violent. The wind screamed into his ears as it blew across his handsome face …the trees looked menacing and ominous around him as they swayed dangerously…the rain that fell upon his head felt heavier…and a tear escaped his sorrowful grey eyes. _

_"No."_

_Once again, he set off towards the house, sprinting, and stumbling into the doorway of his best friends' house. The door lay flat across the floor; apparently, the intruder had sent the door off its hinges, but that did not cause Sirius to chock on his breath…_

_It was James dead body, lying by the stairs, his hazel eyes wide with fear, clutching his heart. _

_"James…" Sirius said huskily, taking slow steps toward his friend._

_It was his entire fault._

_His legs shaking furiously under him, Sirius fell to his knees by James holding his friends hand. _

_"James?" he called croakily. "Come on Prongs. Wake up mate. Wake up." He now said, refusing to believe that James was dead…but James did not wake…_

_Stubbornly, Sirius pulled out his wand, pointing at James right at James's chest, trying to revive him, but no spell had any affect. "ENERVERTA! ENERVATE! ENERVATE!" he yelled, but James only stared back at him…_

_Throwing away his useless wand, he grabbed James by his robes and shook him hard. "JAMES! JAMES! Come on mate! Wake up!" _

_Sirius slapped him hard on the face, it always woke James up when they were at Hogwarts…but as his hand contacted his face…he could feel the coldness in it…the death in it. _

_Sirius's face turned chalk white, and his arms trembled as he laid James, once again on the floor. His face twisted into one of great sorrow and he laid his head on James chest as he a painful sob escaped him. _

_"I swear James I never knew! I never knew Wormtail would do this to you! I never meant for this to happen! Never! But I'll get him for what he's done…I'll get Peter …Oh god James, forgive me, forgive me James!"_

_James made no retort, and Sirius felt more sobs overcome him, his body shaking furiously with them. _

_"The plan was never supposed to turn out this way, it all went wrong Prongs, all wrong, and Wormtail lied to us! He fooled us into believing that Remus was the spy. Moony would never-" but he stopped his mumbling and apologize as his animagus senses kicked in. _

_Was that a child crying?_

_Another wail confirmed his supposition, and immediately, he raised his tear strained face._

_"Harry."_

_And that was all that was needed to bring him back to his feet; his godson. Skipping three staircases at a time, he reached the second landing, to the room right across, the nursery, Harrys' room. Walking with swift strides, he reached the door which was, like the one downstairs, also sent flying off its hinges, and as soon as he entered, his eyes set on a woman with fiery red hair, sprawled on the ground. James wife...His godsons' mother…his friend…she was dead…she was gone too…_

_"Lily…Lily?" he whispered, turning her body around, with shaking hands, and something struck in his heart as he saw her frightened, emerald eyes, which used to be glow with life….but now…it was dull…it was dead._

_"I'm sorry Lily, I'm so sorry," he sobbed, looking into her eyes though they did not look back into his. "So sorry…I swear…I swear I'll take care of Harry, Lily, just like you made me promise…" he said, and just like he did to James, he laid Lily done, brushing the hair away from her petrified face…_

_Looking up, Sirius took in the room around him searching for Harry. Harrys' nursery was a disaster. The bed seemed to find its way to the end of the room, the mattress torn, chunks of it here and there. Harrys' toys, which he cherished so much, were strewn everywhere, scorched and ripped apart. The cupboard, which stood at the corner of the room, was now flat on the floor, shattered pieces of wood everywhere. In short, it was in ruins. _

_What happened in here?_

_Transforming into Padfoot, he sniffed the ground searching for Harrys' familiar sent. As dogs could pick up some ones smell quickly, Sirius found Harrys' sent with no trouble. He was under the cupboard. Panicking that Harry was hurt badly, Sirius altered back into a human. Reaching in his robes pocket for his wand, he found that it wasn't there. _

_"Damn it!" Sirius cursed in frustration as he remembered that his wand was downstairs. _

_Turning around, ready to sprint down for his wand, Sirius spotted Lilys' wand on the ground, and instantaneously, he picked it up, but as soon as he touched the wand, Sirius's eyes widened with shock as he felt the wands' sorrowful magic._

_Did the wand know that it had lost its' owner?_

_Sirius shook his head. There was no time to ponder on meaningless thoughts._

_"Wingardeum Leviosa!" he cried, pointing at the cupboard which floated to the ceiling revealing beneath it Harry, who was under his cot; _

_And with no further ado, Sirius rushed to his godson, throwing the cot aside, and immediately picked Harry into his arms. Looking him over, Sirius was shocked to find his godson not harmed at all, except for the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. _

_"Thank god you're alright," he said whipping the blood trailing down his scar. "Thank god…"_

_But Harry was not paying any attention to Sirius like he always did when he came over. His godson was looking over his shoulder, his small arms clutching onto Sirius's robes. Then Harry looked back at Sirius, looking at him with questioning emerald eyes, as though asking him, what was wrong with his mother. But Sirius refused to give him an answer…to say it out loud…once and for all…Instead, he held Harry close and buried his face with his robes. _

_He would not let Harry see this…He did not want him to have this memory._

_Still holding a shivering Harry close, Sirius walked out of the room, but picked up a tattered blanket on his way out. Slowly he walked in the hall filed with Lily, James and Harrys' pictures, which were hung on the wall, all over the floor. It seemed that only minutes ago he was sitting with his friend and his wife, chatting, laughing, doing what they usually did…How could they be gone like that? so quickly, so ruthlessly? …How?_

_Sirius walked down the steps, and held Harry tighter as he saw James body once again. Reaching the end of the stairs, Sirius picked up his own wand, and as though Harry felt James physical presence, he squirmed in Sirius's arms, but Sirius kept his hold on him, refusing to let him see his fathers' dead body. _

_And with one last look at his child-hood friend, Sirius left the house with nothing but sorrows and pains. And it hurt, it hurt to see the people he loved dead, the gap in his heart ached him…and he did not want to feel pains…he could not live on like this…with the guilt…the pains…Sirius could not handle it. _

_Realizing that Harry was shivering against the cold wind, he rapped the tattered blanket, which Sirius just noticed that he was clinging on to it, around Harry, who looked again at him again with those inquiring eyes. _

_How was he supposed to tell a child that he lost his parents? How was he to explain to his godson that his mother and father would never come back? _

_Although nobody thought of him so, Sirius had a soft heart, he didn't have the guts to tell that to his godson…averting his grey eyes from his godson, Sirius moved to his motorbike, and put Harry down on the grass to pick it up._

_He'd drop Harry at Remus's cottage, and then, then he would avenge for James. He was going to kill Peter._

_But when he turned around to pickup Harry from the ground, he found that he was missing. Panic aroused in his heart, and he spun around in search of Harry._

_" 's alright Sirius, I've go' Harry," sniffed a voice._

_Sirius sighed with relief as he Hagrids' towering figure spoke. _

_"You scared me," he said shakily. _

_"Sorry 'bout tha', but Professor Dumbledore sent me 'ere to take little Harry." _

_"What? No Hagrid, I'm his godfather, I'm going to take him." _

_"Can't do tha' Sirius. I've go' direct orders ta take 'em straight to his aunts' and uncles' house."_

_"Those muggles!" Sirius raged. "You can't Hagrid, they won't want to take Harry! Let me take him, I'm his godfather."_

_"I can't Sirius," Hagrid said walking away, but when his eyes set on the house, Hagrid stood, rotted on the spot. "Merlins beard! What happened 'ere?"_

_Sirius shut his eyes tightly and looked down. It was even painful to think about it._

_"Lily and James? Where are they Sirius?" _

_"They…they…" He couldn't say it, he couldn't._

_Suddenly, he felt himself being pulled into a one-armed, rib cracking hug. " 'm sorry Sirius," sobbed Hagrid. "C-can't believe it's Lily and James!"_

_Sirius didn't even bother to reply as Hagrid pulled away…he was too shocked…to grief stricken…and all he wanted was his heart to be at piece…he didn't want the heavy weight of guilt._

_And the both of them stood there quietly…not uttering words to each other, until Hagrid finally wiped the tears away from his stained face, and sniffed. _

_"I-I'd better ge' going then…Goodbye Sirius, take care of yourself."_

_"Wait!" _

_"I already told ya Sirius I can't give Harry ta ya." _

_"No," Sirius said quietly. He knew how stubborn Hagrid was when it came to Dumbledores' orders, and for the life of him, he had no heart left to argue. He would take his godson away later…after he had finished Wormtail off. "Take my bike."_

_"No, I can't do tha' Sirius, you love tha' thing!" Hagrid replied shaking his head. _

_"No. I won't be needing it anymore," he said quietly, an odd, malevolent glint in his eyes. "Take it," he said pushing the keys into Hagrid's large hands. _

_"Alright," Hagrid said swinging his huge, dolphin sized feet, over the bike. "I'll give it back to ya later."_

_Sirius nodded his head silently, looking at Harry, who was oddly quiet throughout this whole time. Hagrid turned the key, and the engine roared as it soared through the air, and not until he couldn't see them anymore did Sirius transform into a dog, bounding the streets, in search of Wormtail, trying to find a trail of his sent. _

_He was going to kill Wormtail. He was going to avenge for what he had done._

_End flashback

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A.N: Take a moment of your time and hit that review button because it would really mean a lot to me! Please:D 


	6. Mistakes are not a sin

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Six-**

**Mistakes are never a sin**

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Enjoy! ;) 

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"Remus!" Sirius said sharply shaking his friend by the shoulder trying to knock some sense into him. "James is dead! I saw his body!"

"And so did I!"

"Then how do you explain him coming back from the dead?" Sirius practically yelled angrily, though he wasn't sure why he felt that sudden rage. "Dead people don't just walk around when they feel like it! It's impossible!"

"I don't know how this happened Sirius," Remus said looking at him straight in the eye. "But Moony feels it too, he feels a part of his pack returned, and no one can fool the wolf…no one."

Sirius let go of his shoulders and his arms fell limply by his side; slowly, he turned and faced the door wordlessly.

…

_Remus's words were completely far-fetched. Absolutely unbelievable! For someone to come back was implausible, undoable!_

_It would completely through off the balance of life, and it was that reason why many had died in their attempts of opening a portal between the world of the living and the dead. If any had actually succeeded in opening a gateway and walked through it, then they would never come back, they would have no hope of living nor hope of dieing, and the only explanation to this reasoning was that they would be a torn sole…one that was lost between the living and the dead. _

_And Sirius was certain that none had succeeded in summoning back a person from the dead because he knew, he understood, that when fate would decide that it was someone's time to leave to the other world, then their was no means at all in stopping it; nothing would be able to hamper it. For fate was unbeatable. Undefeatable. not once had someone fought a battle against it and prevailed, and not once had anyone summed up their courage to defy it, because every human, every creature, was aware that any battle against fate would be a lost one, and they knew that fate would punish them for actually daring to confront it. _

_It would do something far too horrible for one to imagine. _

… _Yet something in Remus's words seemed to slowly convince him…the proof that his friend was giving to him were far too great to overlook, he could not disregard those facts…but James was dead…he was definitely dead…_

_There was undeniably something missing in this case…their were far too many gapes in it for him to believe this story…yet his heart appeared to feel James existence…Their was something back in that empty space in which James used to occupy, and he could feel it. _

_He could feel it! _

"No. James-James can't be back. He can't be."

For the first time in his life, Sirius ignored his impulse, and went by sensible reason.

"Have I ever lied to you Sirius?" Remus asked looking at him with piercing eyes that were telling him to believe him, that were asking him for help, for understanding.

Sirius had no doubt in mind that Remus would not lie to him about such things, but the imposter obviously had fooled Remus in some way…his brain would not believe it…yet his heart…Sirius heart was telling him that there was no deceitfulness in the mans' words, that this was no plot to take over the light side.

"You really think it's him?" he asked quietly taking hesitant steps toward the door…

"Yes," Remus said firmly.

_Was it true? Did he dare to hope that James was behind that door? That his brother was in the wake of that door? Was this all what was separating them? …It always seemed that death was the only barrier that could hold him away from James, his brother…And it was only for the reason that death was another world far out of his reach…But this was merely a door…just a harmless, defenseless door…_

_Did he dare?_

…

Only when Sirius's hand made contact with the warm handle did he realize he was now inches away from his child-hood friend, and as soon as his brain comprehended that he would see James as soon as he pushed that door open he jumped back as though he was electrified stumbling backwards.

"Sirius?" …

"I can't go in their…" he croaked as a realization hit him hard.

_James would not want to see him…Not after what he had done…_

"Listen Sirius," Remus said with a steely note in his voice. "I know you're shocked and you're not ready to face him, but James is in pieces back there! He needs us; his thoughts are messed up and he needs someone to clear the fog in his head."

"You now I'd do it in a heart beat Moony…" Sirius said slowly his eyes still glued onto the door as though he could see his long lost friend through it. "But not after what I had done to him…"

"You never did anything to him."

When Sirius spoke this time, his voice was choking with emotion. Regret. Grief. Pain. "I-I practically handed them over…I never knew…but-but I as-!"

"You killed no one!" Remus cut him off sharply, knowing the words that were about to leave Sirius's lips.

''I know that Remus!" he snapped back heatedly, finally tearing his eyes away from the door. "But because of a poor choice I made, they had to suffer! A choice that _I _made and promised to be the right one! James would never forgive me for that; never."

Remus, obviously, had enough of this because he had grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and shook him roughly.

"We all make poor choices! It's not a sin Sirius, but people learn to forgive!"

_

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_

Flashback

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_"What were you thinking you idiot! Snape could have died!" James Potter yelled at his friend. "If Wormtail here," he jerked his head to Peter who was sitting in the armchair of the Room of Requirement. "Haven't called me in time, then Remus would have ripped Snape apart! You realize that you could have been sent to Azkaban? Azkaban Sirius! This is no prank! You won't just get detention for this! You're just lucky that Dumbledore forgave you!"_

_"I'm sorry Prongs…" Sirius said earnestly. _

_"Don't apologize to me Sirius." James said quieting down. "It's Remus who you should apologize to. You swore to secrecy when we found out, you remember Padfoot? And now, you broke that vow-"_

_"I didn't tell Snape-"_

_"You as good as told him!" he yelled again, but was cut of by Peter who raised his head from the Marauders Map, which he was studying. _

_"Moony's coming," Peter said softly, his eyes over bright with nervousness. _

_Sirius gulped, and looked up at the door, waiting for whatever was coming at him. He deserved it._

Tick…

Tick…

Tick…

_Sirius's heart bet fast. He had never been so afraid of seeing Remus, so uneasy. It was very aberrantly unlike him, but his actions tonight had led to harsh consequences that he disregarded. He was about to pay for his faults, and this time, there was no withering his way out of it, there was no talking his way out of it. He could not, no matter what, right his wrongs of his actions tonight._

_Sirius's eyes left the door and moved on to the Marauders Map, watching the dot labeled 'Remus John Lupin' which was right now turning onto a corner…moving closer…closer…_

_BANG!_

_The door was flung open and slammed shut, by a furious Remus. None of them, not once in their whole four years at Hogwarts, did they see Remus this angry. _

_Remus's face was flushed with fury, his light brown hair was standing on end due to the many times he had run his hand through his hair and his eyes…his eyes were not the one that Sirius was not used to seeing. It was not the familiar pleasant, amber eyes that twinkled ever so merrily. No, his eyes were radiating with a passion of vehemence that was uncharacteristically like the light hearted Remus he practically grew up with. _

_And Remus stood there, his hands baled in a tight fist, staring hard at Sirius with nothing but utter anger. Not one of the four said anything. Sirius was head bowed, not daring to look at Remus, truly feeling ashamed at himself, and Peter was still seated in his armchair, looking anxiously between the both of them. James however, had backed up, leaning against the wall, arm crossed, obviously not intending to interfere. _

_Sirius opened his mouth wanting to explain to Remus his situation, how he never expected anything to get this bad. He wanted to tell him that his only intention was to give that nosy git a little scare for meddling in something that wasn't any of his concern, but his brain didn't seem to be able to transmit those messages to his mouth. _

_"I-I…"_

_"You what?" snarled Remus. "You didn't think? You were rash? Tell me Sirius!"_

_"I-I'm sorry Moony, I really am," Sirius said quietly averting his eyes from Remus. _

_"You're sorry?" Remus repeated with disbelief. "You're _sorry?_ That's all? That's all you have to say! Well guess what Sirius! Sorry is not enough! I don't think you getting the grasp of how serious the situation you put us all in!" _

_"I swear, I never thought-"_

_"That's exactly your problem! You never _do _think Sirius!" Remus bellowed angrily. "You realize that I could have killed James and Snape? Do you realize that! Didn't you even think that you could have been shipped off to Azkaban? You've been a fool Sirius! I never thought that your animosity towards Snape which reach to the point to hurting him as badly as this! You're just lucky James pulled him out of the Whooping Willow in time. Snape was a step away from death, and _you, _you were a step away from murder. _I _was a step away from murder!"_

_Sirius stared, his jaw slack, completely at loss to words, his young handsome face showing nothing but repentance and remorse. _

_Remus and James were right, he had been a fool. And he had suddenly come to the conclusion that giving Snape a little scare was not worth Remus's secret being divulged. It was not worth Azkaban, and it was certainly not worth James life. Nor Snapes, he admitted. _

_"You're right Remus, forgive me, I-I never meant for this to happen. Believe me," Sirius said, his grey eyes begging for compassion, but Remus's amber eyes were showing no mercy, he would not yield to his friends' plea for forgiveness, he only shook his head and walked out of the door without another word to Sirius, fearing that if he stayed any longer in this room he would break Sirius's jaw._

_With nothing but an empty feeling in the pit of his heart, Sirius slumped down on an armchair beside Peter. _

_"Don't worry Padfoot," Peter said reassuringly. "Moony's just heated up, give him time to calm down, he'll forgive you."_

_"I hope he does Wormtail," Sirius said sighing heavily, wishing to exhale the heavy feeling inside of him._

_"He will," James firmly said resting a supportive hand on his shoulder. "It's just like old Wormtail said, give him time, and Moony'll forgive you in no time. I know I would."_

_"Thanks Prongs," Sirius said sincerely, fancying nothing but a thoughtless sleep. But Sirius knew he would find no sleep tonight._

_

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_

_End Flashback_

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A.N: These flashbacks seem to be everywhere! But I like a bit of marauder history! It's a huge part of this fic...anyway! Please Review!


	7. The Suffocating Pains

_A.N: First of all, I apologize for the _very_ long wait, but I've been traveling and I couldn't get my hands long enough to actually get to write down a chapter, but now I'm back to my home sweet home, and hopefully you won't have to wait that long for the next chapter. _

_Ever since I've been back, I've went back to my read _Convincing Harry_ so that I could you know, get back on track, but when I've read it all I could think of was...'This is horrible! This is short! How could I have written such a thing?' And well, from that day onward, I started revising each chapter. Correcting grammar and spelling mistakes, re-writing each chapter again. I have added details that weren't there before, but nothing major in the plot has changed except in chapter 4, at the very end, so you might want to go back and have a look at it...but hey! it's your choice...so with no furthur ado! _**

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**

**Convincing Harry**

**By Abay**

**-Chapter-Seven-**

**The Suffocating Pains

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**

Enjoy! ;)

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"James would never blame you for what you never knew, for what you had no control over!" Remus lessened his tightened grip slightly, and his features softened. "Sirius, he's…he's just realized that Lily's dead, and he…he…thinks Harry's dead too, I tried to explain things to him, but he won't listen to me Sirius, he looks so lost, and I need your help Padfoot. _James_ needs your help."

…

Sirius swallowed hard, and rubbed the temple of his head, which was throbbing him painfully.

_He did not know what to think, nor did he know what to do…What if all this was a dream? …a dream that he would awake from and find himself back in Grimmauld Place? _He thought fearfully, but now, he found his thoughts of dread were turning into never ending questions which were making him starve for answers.

_Had James changed? Would James forgive him for his mistake? Would he even remember?_

The inquiries did not end there, and they wouldn't have come to an end if it were not for the pained voice that reached Sirius's ears. It was a scream, a cry, a voice that wavered with agony, misery and woe, and at hearing those very words, Sirius settled on a choice.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE ME WITH THEM? WHY!" The voice let out yet another angry yell, and then a sound of something being shattered filled his ears.

"WHY ME! WHY MY WIFE! MY SON! WHY!"

Sirius split to a run towards the door, ready to bolt it open, but his old friend was ahead of him. Remus had run to James aid as soon as he heard his fraught scream, but Sirius was too stricken to move at first. His legs had seemed to be glued to the spot.

* * *

James sat, fidgeting on the couch, running a shaking hand through his hair, and down his sweaty face. His heart was thumping wildly on his chest…his brain felt as though it was being tugged out of his scull…every short, sharp breath he took seemed to pierce pain through his lungs. The pain was so excruciating. It was unbearable.

He ran a hand down his neck, rubbing it, trying to ease the severe soreness in it. His throat was burning, and it was painful to sob, to cry, to let out a laden scream of anguish. The smoldering feeling in his throat seemed to impede him from letting any howl of pain and anger escape…and he wanted to do that so much…he wanted to scream…to hurt…. He did not want the pains to linger inside of him…but everything was burning in him… and his sorrows seemed to be keeping his body ablaze…flaming…and it hurt, it hurt him so much.

James took in a deep, shuddering breath with difficulty, clutched his chest and started to rock himself backwards and forward again. He could not stay still. He could not breathe properly. He could not see…he was plummeting down into darkness…further and further…and the more he plunged down into darkness, the more he felt the distance between him, Lily and Harry.

_They're gone_, whispered a voice in the back of his head. _They're gone forever… _

James back arched with pain, and he clutched his head, trying to block out that voice. Then, he screamed like never before, and he heard his voice wavering ever so weakly.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TAKE ME WITH THEM? WHY! WHY ME! WHY MY WIFE! MY SON! WHY!"

Leaning forward, James laid his elbows on his knees and held his head with his hands, taking in short gasps of breath. He stared now in front of him, at the innocent goblet made out of glass which was gleaming ever so merrily at him, and James felt his resentment towards that goblet…he envied it for being void of all feeling and thoughts. He felt angry that it did not share the pains he did…he felt covetous because it did not go through what he had gone through, and he screamed, he yelled, venting all his anger at the goblet.

He could not stand it!

Getting to his feet, James picked the goblet up and threw it with all his might at the wall, and though he heard and saw it shatter before his very eyes, James was not satisfied. It did not cry out in pain like he wanted it to! It did not scream in pain like he was!

James pulled on his collar, and took in more shuddering breaths. It was hot in here. The room seemed to be closing around him. His head was spinning. This place held so many memories with him of Lily, and of his son, and he did not want to remember them. It was too painful to remember. He wanted to forget! Forget it all!

But the image of Lily and Harry were engraved within his eyelids, and it hurt his sole so deeply to know that he would not see them again… Never….

The walls were suffocating him…squeezing the air out of him….he needed to leave….he needed to get out….

Walking towards the door, he clumsily bumped painfully into a chair, but did not seem to notice that his foot was throbbing painfully...he was too numb...too shocked to comprehend what was going on around him. But as soon as he grabbed the door handle a hand grabbed him by the forearm and almost mechanically, he tried to wrench it away, but the figure- Remus no doubt- would not let go.

"Let go of me!" he tried to hiss, but his voice was nothing but hoarse. "Let go Re--"

His voice seemed to shut down when he had spun around to face whom he thought was Remus, and seeing the figure who had grabbed him, he felt his numb feeling flare into white, hot blazing anger, and he felt the need to hurt again, the need to make the person in front of him feel pain as he did.

"_You!" _he spat vehemently.

"James? …" Sirius, a man whom he thought he would never come to hate, said with on odd look in his eyes...almost disbelieving...transfigured by the sight of him.

"Get away from me!" he roared fiercely, pushing Sirius roughly, causing him to stumble backwards, and breaking him from his transfigured gaze. "You lied to me! I trusted you and you lied to me!"

"What--I--" Sirius looked at him, his grey eyes oddly hollow and sunken, with a shadow of darkness behind them. James could not remember Sirius bearing that look in his eyes yesterday? ...was it yesterday that he had last seen him? But this mattered not now...this was only furthermore proof of his betrayal...that darkness in his eyes was proof that he had joined the ranks of the Dark Order...He and Peter together... They manipulated him, fooled him, and now these were the consequences of his unending trust towards them. The death of his loved ones.

"How could you Sirius?" he said as waves of fury overwhelmed him. "I trusted you—"

"James!" he heard Remus call though his voice sounded oddly far-off. "This isn't what—"

"I trusted you!" he continued, his voice rising to overcome Remus's. "And you betrayed that trust! You handed us over to Voldemort!"

"I never did James! I swear to you!" Sirius said his voice pleading, his eyes locking within his own, and then he saw something emerge from behind the dark shadows of those grey eyes...a brotherly love that was familiar to him. And at seeing that, James felt the hot blazing anger decrees little by little. "You were…you _are_ like a brother to me James. You're the family I never had, and I would never, _never…_"

Sirius hand reached out a shaky hand and squeezed his shoulder. "I was prepared to die for you James, to give my life to you, to Lily, to Harry!"

At the mention of his wife and son, James blinked, and then remembered. His wounds were still fresh, and to forget that someone close to his heart was gone was not an unusual sensation to one who had lost a loved one. It was not unusual to wake up in the morning and expect to find that someone to be downstairs, and then remember that they would never be… And when your awareness bites back, the feeling, the _pain_, would double tenfold, and that was how James felt at this precise moment.

"Don't you touch me!" he roared, slapping Sirius's hand away.

Sirius' hand fell limply to his side, and he stared back at him with a look in his eyes that were hurt so deeply. But James did not care. _Let him feel pain!_ He thought. _Let him drown in it!_

"James, you have to hear Sirius out!" Remus said his voice desperate.

"And why should I?" he said ruthlessly, his eyes narrowed, still staring at Sirius with disgust and resentment.

"Because I never betrayed you…" Sirius's fraught and hollow voice came.

_Lies; these were all lies. One after the other; he could see know, see how he was manipulated. _The scorching anger burned James throat now, and that was when he snapped. "LIAR!" he roared in a fit of rage that had reached its limit, and the emotions of agony, fury, distress, and vehemence clashed together inside of him, burning, infecting him to the core of his magic.

Then he erupted.

It was though a hurricane had blown over them causing the furniture to fly across the room, breaking into little bits, shattering into useless pieces of scrap, and if Remus had not quickly cast a shield around the three of them, then they would have surely perished in this merciless gust of anger and torment.

"Calm down James!" Remus yelled, fearful of the extremes his old friend would gradually reach.

But James paid him no heed, instead he ran at Sirius, pushing past Remus who was trying to stop him, and shoved Sirius so hard that he fell crashing into the ground. Then, he struck. James punched and hit every part of him, but did not seem to notice that Sirius was not fighting back at all; he could not even hear Remus shouting at him, trying to pull him off Sirius, but he kept on hitting Sirius until finally, his hands moved towards his throat, ready to squeeze the breath out of him…to kill…to take away his life…just like he had taken away Lily's and Harry's.

"JAMES, NO!" A pair of hands seized him from the back and threw him off Sirius, letting him fall backwards. He tried to get up again, but Remus seemed to cast a spell on him, gluing him onto the floor, and no matter how much he struggled, he could not break free.

"James…" Remus said, panting heavily. "It-It was Peter…Sirius never…he never knew…Sirius never knew Peter was the spy…"

"That's not true!" he yelled, his blood pounding against him, his eyes still gazing hungrily at Sirius, ready to strike again. "He and Peter kept telling me that you were the spy! They convinced me and Lily that you like all other werewolves joined Greyback in serving Voldemort!"

"No James!" Remus said, shaking his head. "Don't you see? _Peter_ fooled you and Sirius. _Peter _let you believe that I was the spy. _Peter _betrayed your trust. Sirius never knew…and it was too late when he did realize it…"

James said nothing…He did not know what to believe anymore…He could not take in what he was being told…It was too much…too much to grasp, too much to comprehend. He turned his gaze away from Remus's to Sirius's face- which was bloody and bruised- and he was surprised to find the tears welling up in his eyes.

"I tried to hunt him down," Sirius croaked. "I tried to get him for what he'd done. I should have known…I should've realized. This would have never happened if I had...and I regretted what I've done every day James...I should have never convinced you in letting Peter be the secret keeper. I'm so sorry James…so sorry…If I could do something…If I could lessen the pain…"

James shut his eyes tightly as a tear ran down his face, making a trail through the dust and mud on his face. "Then kill me," he said in a hushed whisper. "Let me join them."

Remus, stumbled backwards wide-eyed, horrified at what he was saying, and after a pregnant silence, Sirius replied as James had expected. "Never…I could never…"

"You said that you would do anything to lessen the pain!" he cried hoarsely, as more tears made stained his face.

"How could you ask me to do this?"

"You don't understand!" he said, completely breaking down now. "I can't live without them! You don't know what it feels like! They're gone! My wife and son are dead!"

"No James!" Remus said hurriedly, walking over towards him and kneeling on the floor beside him. "He's not dead, Harry's not dead!"

At hearing Remus say that, James seemed to literarily freeze. He did not seem to be taking in a breath, his tears had stopped flowing abruptly, and the cogs in his mind seemed to shut down.

"Did you hear me James?" Remus said, shaking his shoulders, a slight smile on his face. "Harry's alive!"

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_Authors Note: Were finally getting there aren't we! I'm very excited to right the next chapter...We get to see Dumbledore ( I think...hmmm..) and speaking of the next chapter, both the title (not chosen yet) and the progress of writting it will be on my bio page! __And the same goes for any Fighting the Fates readers,but I'm sorry to say that it's on hold now because I'm also revising T.V.C (( I'm half-way through it! )) and I can't juggle three fics at a time...I hope you understand._

_But until then, please keep on reviewing! Please! And thanks to all the people who reviewed last chapter!_


	8. Avoiding the Truth

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Convincing Harry

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**By abay

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**-Chapter-Eight-

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**Avoiding the Truth

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Sirius Black ran a hand through his hair, slumped heavily on the couch and watched as Remus Lupin knelt beside an unconscious and out cold James, checking his pulse. It was he, Sirius, who had stunned James when he found that the pressure of his own guilt was far too great on him to handle.

He knew it was rash a thing to do; he shouldn't have acted so impulsively. He knew that he would have to face James' wrath when he'd regain consciousness, but what in the name of Merlin could he have done? His friends' eyes were boring into his intensely, demanding him to tell James if he had kept his word. They were bombarding him with too many questions, and the look in them was of sheer pain, loss and confusion, and that was too much. He could not bear it any longer, he could not.

His guilt and shame flared in the inside of him at the exact moment he had contemplated on how he was supposed to confront James with the truth. How could Sirius tell him that he had left his son, Harry, in the care of relatives that showed no love to the boy nor any little care for him? How could Sirius tell him, that instead of raising Harry, he had rotted in Azkaban for twelve solid years, wallowing in a pool of shame, anger and self-pity?

The very thought of how James would react to this reality that they had never contemplated to befall etched a feeling of fear and apprehension that he rarely felt. The sensation, though normal, was foreign to Sirius Black, for he was known for his self confidence, and at being at complete loss as what to do, he pulled out his wand instantaneously, and stunned James right at the spot, causing his friend to fall quiet and limp.

His heart beating quickly still, Sirius dropped his hands that were covering his face into his lap, and watched James motionless form, feeling James' questioning gaze upon him still though his eye-lids had slid shut. Clenching his stubble jaw, Sirius turned his head around and looked out of the window, still feeling those hazel eyes boring into the back of his head.

_

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_

_James Potter, momentarily bound to the ground, closed his eyes and laid his head back upon the wooden floor letting out a shaky but relieved breath. For the first time since Sirius had seen him, James seemed to be a bit relaxed, almost content, with the thought that his son was safe and sound. _

_Though he possessed no eyes that could observe the interior of any human being, Sirius could practically see his friends' shriveled and ripped heart being pumped back with life. The pain that had plagued James like a noxious disease tonight was healed with the mere words that Remus had uttered, and Sirius knew that no magic, not even of its greatest, could mend James fractured sole but those words of reassurance. _

_A smile played upon James' face, and Sirius could see the holes and emptiness that he knew all too well leak into the floor beneath James as sheer joy restored its place. But as quickly as the smile had graced James' face it slid off slightly and he opened his eyes with abruptness, raising his head as much as the binds would allow him to. _

_"What about Lily? Is she alright? Did she make it Remus?" James asked with panic. _

_Remus, slightly shocked that James had assumed Lily was alive when he only claimed that Harry was, reeled backwards and turned to Sirius though he knew not how to help. Turning to James once again, Remus opened his mouth and let out a choked sound. It was as though his throat was too tight to speak, and instead, Remus shook his head, averting his sight from James who had let his head drop back with a dull thud upon the floor. _

_And a stifled sob of anguish escaped him. _

_It was as though all the pain that had left James rushed back into him with a great force, andyet he was trying as hard as he could not to flounder in a sea of numb pain. Sirius knew that James was fighting against his misery and sorrow for Harrys' sake but his efforts were almost futile. _

_"Un…Unbind me Remus….I want to see my son. Take me to him. Where is he?" James said huskily as he screwed his eyes, stopping the flow of tears that he knew would leak like a broken dam if one seeped out of his hazel eyes. _

_Sirius and Remus stared into each others eyes as their hearts skipped a beat, asking one another the same repetitive and unanswerable question. _'Should we tell him?' _Mutely, yet knowingly, the same thoughts were tracking through both their heads, and their two opposing consciences started to debate like they had done all night. _

'He has every right to know_', the moral and reasoned part of them said, jogging their brains. But their compassionate part screamed out in despair for their hearts did not have the conscience to enlighten James with the truth. They did not have the valor to tell him that Harry had lived a great deal of his life with an Aunt and Uncle that held no affection or little warmth towards him. How could they, his friends, his _brothers_, heave upon his shoulders more sorrows --which he was already burdening a mound of-- further than any man ever could?_

_"Why don't you rest for a while James?" Sirius said, running a hand through his black hair, his eyes still interlocked with Remus' amber ones. "It's been a tiring day for you." _

_"No, I want to see—"_

_"Sirius's right," Remus started, ripping his gaze away from his dark grey eyes. "It has been a long—"_

_"I don't give a damn!" James snapped angrily with a croaky yell. "He's my child and I have every right to see him whenever I wish to! Where is he?" He demanded craning his head to stare at Sirius. _

_Sirius Black lurched backwards as though struck hard in the stomach. His grey eyes wide with apprehension started to dart from Remus to James now. He did not know why he was so taken aback; he should have seen this coming. He _was _Harrys' godfather after all, and it was not out of the ordinary for James to assume that Harry was in his care…but how could he tell him that all had been otherwise?_

_"…Harry…He's…" _

_"Where the hell is my child Sirius!" James shouted out in anger and impatience as he started to struggle against the binds strength that were still stubbornly fastening him to the ground_.

_His heart pounded harder against his ribs as though his heart too was nagging him to spill out the truth, but he stood still on his spot, stiff and rigid, staring numbly as James screamed out, cursing and swearing. He did not even help Remus who was trying to calm James down. He did not move an inch out of place as James started flaying and fighting hard against the binds._

"_James!" Remus yelled. "Calm down. We'll explain everything in due time--" _

_Livid, James let out a thunderous roar of rage and suddenly, a loud snap cracked like a whip in the air. The binds that held him to the ground moments ago broke apart from what Sirius thought to be a powerful surge of emotional magic that surged out of James. _

_"James wait," Remus said in a tone that suggested he was being unreasonable. "You've got to listen to us—" _

_"Listen to you?" James cried in rage as he walked up to Remus. "I've been listening to you the whole night, and you've told me nothing! I want to know what's going and the both of you've been hiding the truth from me! I don't know where my child is and Lily's—" James took an intake of breath not daring to utter the words that would confirm the death of his wife. The words that would make it final. _

_He took in a deep breath."—Get out of my way Remus or I'll do it myself." _

_"I can't—"_

_"Get out of the way,'' he said in threatening manner._

_"No." _

_Remus stood his ground firmly not even wavering at James' menacing glare when others would have. Weakly, James pushed passed Remus without a word and moved towards the door, grabbing the door knob, but to James fury, he found that it was locked. He shook the door, kicked at it, butit would not open for it was locked with magical enchantments. _

_"Damn it Remus! Let me out!" _

_"I told you, I can't just let you wander—" _

_"For Merlin's sake, I'm a grown man!"_

_"You don't understand!" Remus said who was almost as angry as James was. "These are not safe times! Death Eaters are swarming the country and if they catch a glimpse of you—" _

_"I'm a fully trained and qualified Auror Remus, I think I can handle myself," James snapped._

_"And alot that'll do you when you don't even have a wand on you." _

_James stared at Remus for a moment then let go of the door knob, and breathed heavily through his nose. "I've had enough of this," he said quietly, then walking passed Remus again, he went to the very end of the room where a small pot lay shattered upon the ground with it's contents—floo powder—sprinkled all over the ground. _

_Bending down on wobbly knees, James quickly gathered all the floo he could in one place and took a small yet sufficient amount in his hand. Standing up again, he rushed towards the fire place before Remus could stop him and threw the floo powder into the fire._

_"No, James!" Remus yelled. _

_"Hogwar—" _

_Something seemed to click inside of Sirius' as he heard the first two syllables of the word Hogwarts. James was going to Dumbledore and Dumbledore would surely tell him everything…but that could not happen… it must not happen. Sirius would have to face James and what would Sirius tell him then? _

_He knew that there was nothing he could do or say to redeem himself in his friends' eyes whenthe time came to confront James,but right now, he was not ready for another load of remorse upon his heart. He had lived with guilt and regret for twelve years and he did not want to do so any more._

_Impulsively, Sirius reached for the inside of his robes, pulled out his wand with agility and pointed at James. "STUPEFY!"_

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**: Authors Note :**

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**1)** _I am so very sorry! (ducks as reader chucks fruit) really, really, really sorry! I had extreme writers block and believe me, I was annoyed with myself just as you are. I just hope this chapter's good though. I'm not that confidant about it but I thought that it was about time to update something :p! _

**2)** _I know I said this chapter was to be called "Decisions" and that we'd be seeing Dumbledore…It was what I had in mind but it just didn't work out…Next chapter perhaps? (I'm not promising anything!) _

**3)** _I know I've been neglecting review replies, but I want to say that I still appreciate them. So to these following people (for both reviewed version and not reviewed version of chapter 7!) Thanks! _

**_Emuerz: Thank you! _**

_Atropa Haven: Unclear? Well that's why I did a whole revised version! Err...Oh, yes I bet you are super intelligent :P _

_**Hypa4eva: LOL! Errr…thanks! **_

_Pandas Rule the World: I don't think I can answer that! Maybe…but things get complicated… _

**_Cooroo: Thanks a heap! I'm glad you liked it! Yes we all love Sirius! When will we see Harry? Err…not the next chapter for sure …but soon… _**

_Daniele-Marx: Thank you! Hmmm, it won't be as simple as that. Harry's not going to accept this quickly ((The title clearly states that.)) _

**_Thegodfatheroftheboywholived: Thank you! _**

_Mandie Weasley: Ooh thank you! I'm really flattered! _

**_Mirax Myra Terrik: Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you think this one of the best ones you've read! Ooh I'm glad you haven't read it before it was revised…It was plain horrible. _**

_DDwelling: Yeah, you can say that again. Thanks for the review! _

**_Al: Thanks. I try to update as soon as I can… _**

Thank you all again and please, please Review! Oh, one more thing. I was just wondering, has anyone guessed why James came back? There's another reason other than "utter and pure magic." I did put in something that should give you an idea...if you know where to look. ;) A cookie to anyone who can guess!


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